Perimenopause – A Performing Artist’s Perspective by Sophie Tott 

Photo by Matt Forster: thisandmatt.co.uk

In our guest blog, Sophie Tott aka DJ Tallulah Goodtimes shares her experience of perimenopause while working as a DJ, producer and artist.

In her companion piece to Sophie’s blog Dr June Sheren writes, “As a physician specializing in women’s health and performing arts medicine, I see the impact of menopause amplified on many layers for women in the performing arts. As a woman in midlife myself, these stories resonate deeply. I’m struck by how the two populations that I care for – women, and performing artists – are so under-served in healthcare. To every performing artist who feels unseen or unsupported during this time: you are not alone. Your struggles are valid, your voice matters, and your experience deserves recognition. Thank you Sophie for being vulnerable, for reminding us that no woman should have to suffer alone, and for inspiring us to embrace change.”

Dr Anna Waters has also written a companion piece about performance psychology and menopause. She says “Sophie is really leading the way and I hope that her story encourages other women to share their experiences.”

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Perimenopause – A Performing Artist’s Perspective by Sophie Tott 

My name’s Sophie, also known as DJ Tallulah Goodtimes, DJ, producer, and artist.

Having just hit 50, I’m here to share a behind-the-scenes story about the challenges of perimenopause, in collaboration with BAPAM.

In an industry where youth is valued highly, the work physical, demanding and irregular, and where health and wellbeing aren’t always top of the agenda, navigating physical and mental health as a musician while also going through a monumental life shift is a huge challenge.

There are no official workplace supports. No HR department or guidance on reasonable adjustments. You’re doing most of it yourself, advocating and caring for yourself at a time when really, you need support and someone to help you.

As a DJ and musician who’s been in the industry for a long time, I’ve understood and accepted that late nights, long hours, fast-paced lifestyle and physical demands are part of the job.

Grit, determination, and pushing to the limit are expected, and that attitude has paid off. Happy crowds, creative and engaging work, and a sense of pride in who I am and what I bring to the world was my life in music.

Then along came perimenopause. It’s easier to tell this with the benefit of hindsight, because in the early years of this life change I didn’t connect it all – something which I believe is a common experience among perimenopausal women whatever their career or job.

Some women sail through peri without a care. For others, it’s a challenging time. My relationship to my work, and my love for that work changed massively and I struggled to maintain everything in the way I had always done.

At 41, a sudden vertigo attack struck on the morning of a major gig, forcing me to rest until I could perform later that night. Soon after, my menstrual cycle shortened, which meant the monthly rollercoaster became more pronounced and more regular.

In 2020, anxiety and panic attacks arrived, which I attributed to the global crisis. I moved my gigs online, and the community we grew helped, but the anxiety persisted. This lead to a prescription for antidepressants—only to be hit next by relentless hot flushes, worsened by the medication. My feet ached with plantar fasciitis, and I gained weight.

Exercise, once a joy, became painful, with joint injuries and sciatic pain piling up. By 2021, as live gigs resumed, brain fog set in. Onstage, previously my happy place, I felt lost—unable to think clearly, overwhelmed by sound and lights –and struggling to hold it together. Something had changed, and I didn’t know what or why.

Through my career I’ve dug in to my deepest inner reserves a thousand times. Yet perimenopause has hit differently and my reserves felt as though they were reaching empty.

When you’re on stage, leading the charge to good times, it is simply not the time or the place for tears and fears. It is incredibly hard to work through in the moment. Standing on a stage with a smile on your face, yet inside feeling lost, lacking confidence, and anxious is exhausting in itself, leading to post-gig burnout and loss of confidence.

On top the bewildering physical and emotional symptoms, I felt lost and questioned my entire identity.

I wrote in my journal at the time “Who the hell am I? I don’t love what I once loved. I don’t want to do what I’ve always done”. It felt as though my body was in revolt.

So finding support during this time is crucial to help navigate the changes and their impact.

Working out practical strategies to cope, being in a community, talking to others who are going or have been through the same experience has been essential to my wellbeing. The conversation is an important one, if not easy – I know in the early days I felt ashamed about not being able to cope.

As I continue my work in music, I see now that this path requires more than resilience—it requires compassion for myself. Perimenopause has changed how I perform, but it hasn’t ended my career.

Instead, it’s given me a new lens through which to view my work and my identity. With a slower pace and new boundaries, I’m learning to embrace the joy of creating again, recognising that change doesn’t have to mean loss.

I signed up to a production course with We Are The Unheard Academy to refresh my skills and become part of a community– and my confidence has skyrocketed! New collaborations have come about which are creating a deeper meaning (to me) in my work.

I’ve changed how I play, installing new boundaries, and have re-launched a series of daytime raves which are a fusion of wellbeing and party. So I still perform but it’s a different space and I love being part of my community’s transformation.

I can grow fiercely towards my new self and I’m tending to myself better than ever before, getting rid of things which don’t align. My joy is returning, I’m finding what fits my new self and doing that. And as a result feel good inside.

To anyone working in music and feeling the shifts of perimenopause, know that you’re not alone.

It’s okay to grieve the parts of yourself that are changing while still looking forward to what’s ahead.

Music may demand much from us, but we are allowed to meet those demands on our own terms, to grow and to change, and with the right support, reshaping as you grow and age is entirely possible, and is why community, and services like BAPAM are so important.

Sophie Tott
DJ, Producer and Artist 

Read Dr June Sheren’s response to Sophie’s blog here.

Read Dr Anna Waters blog here.